Newlywed Lessons v. 1

February 4th marked 6 months of marriage for me and Pete.

1. Whaaaat?!
2. I feel like I have two separate lives-- one before we got married, and one after the wedding.
3. Whaaaat?!
4. I don't understand the concept of time.

So now that we have 6 months of newly wedded bliss under our belts, I thought I could share what I have learned as a new wife.

First of all, if you're not yet married or you're getting married soon, I cannot stress enough the importance of not only planning out your wedding celebration, but seriously also considering what kind of marriage you hope to have.   And I was completely guilty of being obsessed over planning my wedding day that I completely forgot about the day after, the month after, and 6 months after.

Lesson #1:  Make romantical time for each other.
Pete and I have not been very good at this and our relationship strains because of it.  We have a bit of a harder time doing this considering we are still living in my parent's house and they think it's acceptable to come down to the basement unannounced at all hours of the day, or send our 3 year old nephew down whenever they feel like it too.  I'm telling you guys..it's getting old.  And the 'romance' shall we say, is a bit lacking.  Is it true that if you don't use it, you lose it? (name that movie).

But lately we have been good about getting out of the house for a date night every week.  It's a little extra cash, but so worth it for us to have some time just to ourselves even if it's just talking over dinner.

Lesson #2:  Compromise. 
You know how everybody preaches compromise in a marriage?  Dear heavenly father is it ever true!
At the end of the day, you are each an individual and you will not agree on everything.  And if you're married to Pete, you won't agree on most things.  You each have to give a little and be respectful of the other person, even if you think they're insane.

Lesson #3:  Let go of the idea that this is supposed to be the most romantic and happy time of your life together.
I will be completely honest here and say that our relationship is not perfect. We bicker.  We forget to appreciate each other.  And we are struggling a little bit to catch our stride since we got married.
We're learning to budget together for the first time.  We are trying to find our first home together.  We're both building and nurturing our careers.  And when we're doing our own thing apart from each other during the day, it's hard to maintain our togetherness in an environment that is not completely our own space.
We're learning and we love each other, and while we have had some amazing moments together, I think the best marriages really develop over time.  The best is yet to come.

Lesson #4: Split up the chores.
I like that our marriage is a partnership.  He does the dishes and I do the laundry.  He does the floors and I tidy everything up.  We share the budget and the trash.  Neither one of us really love to do any of that, but we split it up. Having some designated duties makes it a little easier.

Lesson #5:  Choose your battles.
for real. 

Lesson #6:  Allow Guys' nights and Girls' nights.
I love that we can have nights with our own friends to go out and be annoying and obnoxious, and then come home to each other.  We're a couple that appreciates our own lives along with our life together.  And I'm the type of person that needs alone time every once in a while.

Lesson #7:  Don't let other people tell you how your relationship should be.
Opinions.  Errbody's got one.

If you guys do a post like this-let me know! I'd love to hear what others have learned along the way in your relationships, either dating or married!